And yet…

‘And yet’ because nothing is smooth, there’s always reasoning, highs, lows, misunderstanding, pain, joy, pros, cons, ups, downs. Everything between.

So find a short series of what some might call musings, others call poems, written across a bunch of months.

Look forward to a love that makes me feel how

Norah Jones

Otis Redding

Stevie Wonder

Lianne La Havas

Bonnie Rait

Joni Mitchell

Madonna

Eva Cassidy

All felt.

No more cryptic

No more uncertainty

No more anxiety

No more hopes crushed

No more empty words

No more.

You made me fearless

In my pursuit for you

You set my soul on fire

Does something have to make sense

Can it not just feel right?

Someone’s potential

Someone’s ability to love whilst you’re there

Someone’s capacity to make you feel

Does not make it enough

I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly

Fuck the boxes to tick.

The fire, the all night conversation,

The laughter, oh the eye smiling laughter,

The challenges, the fight,

The deepest desire,

The kisses that rumble your whole heart and question everything you thought you knew about love.

Wanting to rely and be relied on

Wanting someone with every fibre of your body

Wanting someone with every thought

Wanting every conversation, every single word to count

Wanting every moment to count.

Because what if that is the very last.

I’m looking. But I’m blinded. I want

What Sally had.

Laughter and growing together

That’s all anyone wants, right?

You will never get

These eyes

These lips

My touch

My scent

My concern

Understanding

Affection

Passion

Me

Again.

Know your worth.

Take nothing for granted.

Be fearless in love, in life.

Otherwise, tell me, what is the point?

If you cannot rely

Can you trust?

Can you confide?

With everything that is precious?

With you?

How long do you compromise

How long do you mould yourself

How long do you exert energy

For what back?

Our heads reeled

Our stomachs reeled

Our hearts were bursting

Our lips, our bodies were perfect

I honestly believe

You are the best I will ever have.

In the end,

Words don’t matter.

Your eyes

Your kiss

Told me more than

Your mouth ever did

Enough is enough

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do

For one good run with you.

& whilst sometimes it doesn’t make sense

& whilst the timing feels wrong

& whilst sometimes it’s scary

& whilst it feels impossible

& whilst it’s hard

It is everything, it is perfect.

How you feel.

What you want.

What you need.

It’s all valid.

I hope

I am

The biggest mistake

You ever make

‘It’s terrifying’ he whispered

‘It’s love’ she replied.

And they held each other.

And they clung to one another.

Like no one else existed.

Like no one else mattered.

Did I scare you?

Do you love me?

Will you ever know;

what we had was real

it was the best we will ever have

Our bodies fitted perfectly

Our thoughts aligned

Life ambitions in sync

We connected, sparks flew

For a reason

Kind, warm eyes.

Smile with your whole face.

You take my breathe away.

It was his scent, his aura.

It was the taste of his lips

It was the warmth and softness of his skin

It was his eyes that lit up when he looked at her.

What if knock backs propel you further forward than you could ever imagine?

It’s important to remember

I never had you

And you never had me.

Not really.

No one

Simultaneously

Loved me so much

And yet did not.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s